Many bilingual people feel like a slightly different person in each of their languages, and the reason is practical rather than mystical: your personality in a language is limited by your fluency in it. Humor, nuance and emotional precision all draw on vocabulary, so the language you have more of is the language where more of you comes through.
Hannah, the founder of Speak Better Spanish, put the question to Jacky, one of our Spanish coaches. Jacky grew up in the United States, is a native Spanish speaker, and now lives and teaches in Mexico. Her answer was not the expected one: “Me siento como split de que en dos personalidades,” she said. I feel split into two personalities. She is the last person you would expect to say she still finds one of her languages harder.
Key Takeaways
- Bilingual people commonly report feeling like two versions of themselves.
- The cause is vocabulary and fluency, not a split identity.
- The gap shows up most in deep or emotional expression, not in everyday conversation.
- Native speakers experience it too, in the direction you would not expect.
- The frustration adult learners feel comes from a mismatch between adult thoughts and beginner vocabulary.
Do you really have a different personality in each language?
Jacky described it as feeling split into two personalities, and said that over the years it has evened out but never entirely gone away.
Her sense is that she can be more authentically herself in English. That is worth sitting with, because Spanish is her first language and she lives in Mexico.
Her explanation is straightforward. She grew up in the US school system, was strong at grammar and public speaking in English, and got very good at expressing any idea, emotion or thought without stalling to hunt for a word. So when she feels something, English hands her the words for it immediately.
In Spanish she knows exactly what she is feeling, and sometimes cannot express it as precisely or as deeply.
Where the gap actually shows up
Not in ordinary conversation. Jacky can talk about anything normal in either language without effort.
It shows up when things get profound. “I can speak anything normal, perfectly fine,” Jacky said, “but when I want to be like poetic, because I don’t know, I speak like that sometimes, it’s so much harder to do it in Spanish.”
She writes poetry, and that is where she notices it most. “En español sí lo puedo hacer, pero siento que me tardo mucho más en encontrar las palabras correctas,” she said. In Spanish I can do it, but it takes me much longer to find the right words. In English they flow.
She described the same gap outside of poetry: “Sé que estoy sintiendo, pero no sé cómo expresarlo a veces tan profundamente en español.” I know what I am feeling, but sometimes I cannot express it that deeply in Spanish.
That is the real shape of the phenomenon. It is not that a bilingual person has two personalities. It is that the top few percent of expressive range, the part that carries humor, nuance and emotional precision, requires vocabulary depth. Where you have more of it, more of you comes through.
Bilingualism and personality is a live research question rather than a piece of folklore. UNAM’s línea de investigación en bilingüismo at ENALLT studies exactly this overlap between language, context and the self.
If the version of you that shows up in Spanish still feels smaller than the one in English, that gap is measurable and it is workable. A free Spanish Roadmap Session is thirty minutes of finding out where yours actually sits.
Why this happens
Personality in a language rests on fluency, because you build humor, tone and emotional shading out of the vocabulary available to you.
If you have three ways to say something in one language and twelve in another, the twelve-way language is where your sense of humor lives. Not because you are a different person but because the instrument has more keys.
That is why the effect fades as fluency rises. Jacky has felt it fade: “Conforme ha pasado el tiempo, ya se siente más como que even,” she said. As time has passed it feels more even. It rarely disappears completely.
Why the language you were educated in matters most
The detail that explains Jacky’s case is not which language she learned first. It is which language she was schooled in.
“Desde chiquita era yo súper buena con todo de este grammar, de que public speaking en inglés,” Jacky said. Since I was little I was really good at grammar and public speaking in English. Years of being taught how to structure an argument, name a feeling precisely, and hold a room. That is not something you absorb from a language at home. It is something you get drilled in.
So English became the language where she has the tools for precision, even though Spanish is her first language and the one she lives in now.
This is a common pattern among bilinguals raised between two countries, and it is worth naming because it cuts against the intuition that your “native” language is automatically your strongest. Strongest at what is the real question. Spanish may be the language of her childhood and her home, and English the language of her formal expression, and both of those can be true at once.
What this means for you if Spanish is your second language
The mirror image applies. You were educated in English, so English is where your precision lives.
That is not a permanent ceiling, but it does tell you where the work is: not more vocabulary in general, but the specific vocabulary of saying what you mean exactly. Words for feelings, for degrees of certainty, for disagreeing politely, for being funny on purpose.
Most courses never get there, because they are built around transactions rather than expression.
Why this frustrates adult learners so much
This is the part I think every adult learner needs to hear, because it reframes the whole experience.
You have spent decades reaching your level in your native language. Your thoughts are sophisticated. You can express complicated ideas, make jokes that depend on timing, and be precise about feelings.
Then you learn Spanish, and you want to express all of that at the same level, because your brain is operating up there.
But your Spanish vocabulary is down here.
| Learning your first language as a child | Learning Spanish as an adult |
|---|---|
| Your thoughts and your words develop together | Your thoughts are already fully developed |
| You cannot yet form the complex idea | You can form it and cannot say it |
| No frustration, because there is no gap | Constant frustration, because the gap is huge |
| Nobody expects sophistication from you | You expect sophistication from yourself |
A child learning to talk is not frustrated, because their brain cannot form the sentence they are failing to say. There is no gap. As an adult the gap is enormous and you feel every inch of it.
If you are somewhere between comfortable and fluent, the A2 to B1 plateau is usually where this feeling peaks.
The reassuring part
Jacky is a native Spanish speaker, a professional Spanish coach, and she still describes herself as learning.
If someone at that level still finds certain kinds of expression harder in one language, then a learner three years in who cannot yet make a joke land in Spanish is not failing. They are at a completely normal point on a very long road.
Nobody arrives at the end of a language. Native speakers do not either.
Jacky has talked before about Mexican Spanish that surprised her, which is the same phenomenon from another angle.
What to do about it
Accept the ceiling for now, and keep talking anyway. Expressive range is built by using the language, not by waiting until you can be witty.
Notice which situations feel flat. If small talk is fine but describing how you feel is not, that tells you exactly what vocabulary to build next, which is far more useful than a generic word list.
Practice the deep stuff on purpose. Most learners only ever practice transactional Spanish. If you want emotional range, you have to talk about things that matter, which is a good argument for conversation practice with a person rather than an app.
Frequently Asked Questions
Many report feeling like a somewhat different version of themselves, and the usual explanation is fluency rather than identity. Humor, nuance and emotional precision depend on vocabulary depth, so more of your personality comes through in the language where you have more words.
Because your Spanish vocabulary probably cannot yet carry your humor and emotional precision, even though your thoughts are unchanged. The feeling usually eases as fluency grows, and it is reported by fluent bilinguals as well as beginners.
Yes. Bilinguals raised with two languages often feel more expressive in the one they were educated in, even if the other is technically their first language, which is exactly what Jacky describes.
Because your ideas are fully developed and your vocabulary is not, so you constantly know what you want to say and cannot say it. Children learning a first language never feel this, because their thoughts and words grow at the same rate.
It narrows considerably with use, especially if you practice expressing feelings and abstract ideas rather than only transactional language. Most bilinguals report that it shrinks over years without vanishing entirely.
The takeaway
If you feel like a smaller, blunter version of yourself in Spanish, that feeling is real and it is temporary in the ways that matter.
It is not a sign that you lack talent. It is a sign that your personality is currently larger than your vocabulary, which is the normal condition of every adult learner, and the only cure is more Spanish.
Want to build the kind of Spanish that carries your actual personality? Book a free Spanish Roadmap Session and we will map out what to work on: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule/b0b7fe1a/appointment/516100/calendar/241942?appointmentTypeIds[]=516100
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What Our Students Say
The moment Spanish starts carrying your humor is the moment it stops feeling like a subject. Here is what our students say.
Jacky was so helpful and kind! She made it clear we could ask questions or help at any moment, and she made fun conversations that really helped stretch my learning. Our class was small and it was helpful hearing the other student speak Spanish and made me feel comfortable knowing we were both learning together.
Lily Villavicencio Sanchez, Google review, May 2026
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Full Transcript
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TRANSCRIPCION: Jacky 5 – Bilingual and Bicultural
Video: Jacky 5 – Being bilingual and bicultural
Hablante(s): Hannah Pinkerton y Jacky Sanchez
Grabado: 27 de mayo de 2026
Palabras: 3090
Transcripcion palabra por palabra, generada con Whisper large-v3-turbo a partir
del audio original y revisada a mano.
Nota: es una conversacion entre dos personas. La transcripcion NO lleva
etiquetas de quien habla: la herramienta no las saca de forma confiable y una
etiqueta equivocada es peor que ninguna.
———————————————————————-
So our topic today is being bilingual and bicultural. So I’d love to hear from you, from your personal experience. Do you feel different when you express yourself in English versus Spanish? Like, tell us a little bit about your experience by being bilingual and bicultural. Sí, este, me siento como split de que en dos personalidades. Ajá. Pero ahora ya, pues conforme ha pasado el tiempo, ya se siente más como que even, I guess you would say.
Ajá. Pero me sentía como que podía ser más auténtica. Bueno, esto todavía aplica. Siento que puedo ser un poco más auténtica en inglés. ¿Por qué? Porque, pues, desde chiquita era yo súper buena con todo de este grammar, de que public speaking en inglés. Ajá. Y como que eso me ayudó mucho a siempre poder expresar cualquier idea que tenía, cualquier emoción, pensamiento, todo. Este, sin trabarme, sin quedar pensando, ¿cómo se dice esto?
Entonces, como. Qué palabra. Exacto. Y como yo crecí, pues, en Estados Unidos, como que yo sentía algo y yo sabía cómo expresar lo que estaba sintiendo. Y ya aquí en México era como que, sé que estoy sintiendo, pero no sé cómo expresarlo a veces tan profundamente en español. Y, por ejemplo, esto lo noté mucho, mucho cuando empecé a escribir poesía en español, porque a mí me gusta escribir poesía, pero, pues, en inglés se me hace más fácil.
Ajá. Y me fluía las palabras y todo de que, wow, súper bien, ¿no? Pero en español sí lo puedo hacer, pero siento que me tardo mucho más en encontrar las palabras correctas, este, de algo que rime o algo que, una palabra nueva, por ejemplo. A lo mejor es más difícil como que meterla a la frase y usarla correctamente cada vez. Wow, very interesting. So, it sounds like you’re saying that you’re still learning, even though Spanish is your first language and English, you’re still learning.
And I think this is something that a lot of us can relate to when we’re learning another language that we’ve spent how many decades and how many years reaching a certain level of English or whatever our native language is. And we want to be able to express ourselves in the same way in Spanish because our brain is that advanced. Whereas when we’re a kid and we’re learning our first language, our brain can’t even make a sentence.
So, it doesn’t really matter that much. And we go, like, as we advance, we learn more words and more structures and so on. So, now it’s really frustrating because I want to be able to express myself up here, but my vocabulary and what I know is down here. So, I want to say this really complicated thing, but I can’t. Yeah, it’s, it’s, it’s, the issue comes up when it’s like something profound, when it’s something deeper, you know, I can, I can speak anything normal, perfectly fine, but when I want to be like poetic, because I don’t know, I speak like that sometimes.
It’s so much harder to do it in Spanish. Y también, por ejemplo, la pronunciación es frustrante. Este, por ejemplo, estoy en un grupo de lectura y me da tanto nervio, Hannah. Me da, es like, uh, ¿por qué? Como cuando éramos niñas, así, leyendo las palabras en nuestras mentes para no, para no, so we don’t make a mistake when we’re reading in front of the class, we’re reading ahead, like, okay, which one’s going to be for me?
I’m going to practice that one so I don’t sound stupid. Exacto, me, me siento como tú dices, o sea, como una niña chiquita de que, ok, pronuncia bien las palabras, pero en inglés era como, ¿sabes? O sea, leo muy rápido, sin problemas. Y en español es más lento, leo muy bien, pero es más lento, me tardo con algunas palabras. A lo mejor yo lo noto más, porque las otras personas dicen, pero lees bien, pero yo leo mejor en inglés, pero ok.
But you never saw that side of me. Exacto, y yo leo que, I can do better, I promise. Yeah, I know what you mean. It happens to me, too. Sometimes when I’ll be talking to Arturo on the phone, if I’ll be telling him something in English and he doesn’t know the concept or the cultural reference or whatever it is, I’ll, like, Google it in Spanish so I can explain it to him in a way that he’ll know what I’m talking about.
So, um, I can’t remember what the most recent thing was that I was, I don’t even remember what it was, but anyway, something along those lines. And, you know, I’m looking at it on my phone and the same, I’m like, you know, obviously like trying to read it correctly because it’s my boyfriend and he’s getting his PhD and I want to pronounce it correctly in Spanish. So I’m a Spanish teacher and I should know how to pronounce it, but you know, it’s a lot of words and it might be some unfamiliar words that you maybe don’t use on a daily basis and the way that they’re lumped together, the sounds may not flow normally.
So, um, I think it’s very normal, uh, but it doesn’t make it less frustrating, right? It’s still a thing that happens, even if you’re super fluent, even if Spanish was your first language, even if you use it every day, like that can still happen from time to time. And even if everybody else doesn’t notice it and they think you sound great, you sound perfectly normal. There’s nothing wrong with what you said. You’re still in your mind.
Like, Oh, I could have done better. Like, or like, Oh, in English, it just sounds so much smoother. I just read it so much faster. It’s so much easier. Sí, exacto. Y pero para que también se sientan todos tranquilos de que, ay, entonces, ¿qué tal cuando yo hable español? Cuando lean español. No, tranquilos porque también la gente de aquí es muy empática con eso porque dicen, oye, pero yo te he escuchado hablar inglés y wow.
O sea, la gente de aquí admira mucho a las personas que también hablan inglés, que otros lenguajes también y es algo admirable para ellos. Entonces, cuando escuchan a una persona hablar español y no lo hablas perfecto, no pasa nada. It’s completely fine. Y nadie te juzga o te hace burla. O un poquito, pero jugando. That’s a really great point that you bring up, Jacky. And I think that if I was somebody who was wanting to improve my Spanish, it would definitely be something that would be on my mind.
You know, that anxiety, that fear, that what if someone’s judging me or making fun of me or thinks that I’m stupid, or maybe I accidentally insult them because I didn’t say something correctly and I didn’t mean for it to be insulting. You know, I’ve heard these kinds of things before, and I think we’ve all been there. And sometimes we’re still there in our learning journey. But I think, like you said, most of the time when we speak with native speakers, you’ll find that they’re very welcoming.
They’re excited that you’re trying to make an effort in their language, even if you only know two or three words, like we don’t have to wait until we speak perfectly to have conversations with people. And that’s kind of the point of our conversation classes here at Speak Better Spanish, but not to get too much off on that tangent. If you had to give a couple words of advice, it could be in English or Spanish, to someone who has somewhat knowledge of Spanish, but maybe doesn’t feel that they’re ready to speak yet, or maybe doesn’t feel that they can speak yet, or maybe feel scared to talk to a native speaker, whether they’re traveling or that’s someone in their life.
Well, what advice would you give them? I still think one of the top things is try to let go of that shyness or that embarrassment of pronouncing things, maybe not 100% correctly. Trust me, people are still going to understand you. And they’re going to appreciate you, especially if you are in Mexico, people really appreciate you trying. And I think the people here are more excited that you’re here visiting than they are worried about if you’re pronouncing something correctly or not.
You know, like, as we mentioned, you know, it’s admirable to speak two languages, even if you’re not that fluent in one of them. So if anything, people are focusing on the fact that, hey, you speak English, you’re a native English speaker, but you also know how to speak Spanish. Like, that’s really cool. So they’re going to be more willing to help you to be really patient with you and to not make fun of you if they see that you’re kind of like struggling.
So I say, just, just go for it and expect people to, for the most part, be really empathetic and warm and helpful. Yeah, that’s really good advice. And one thing that I always share with Spanish students is I remind them like, hey, I’m sure it’s happened to you at some point in your life that you in the U S have run into someone who is speaking English to you. And you can tell that it’s not their first language. They don’t speak it perfectly.
But if I put myself in the shoes of the native speaker, who someone’s speaking to me and it’s not their native language, I’m never judging them. I’m never making fun of them. I’m never thinking this or that. I’m always like, oh, okay. I see where you’re going with that. All right. Yeah. Let me help you out. Or like, oh, it’s great that you’re making an effort. Or like you said, like, it’s great that you’re speaking a language that’s not your native language and you’re trying and you’re putting yourself out there.
Because I think the point of having conversations and learning another language, at least in my eyes, is being able to communicate with people. Like, it doesn’t matter if you know all the grammar, you can spell correctly. Like, if you can’t speak to someone, then realistically, what is it all for? Right? Because we all have a certain goal in mind when we start learning a language. But if we can’t have a simple, hola, como estas?
Bien, gracias. You said, if we can’t have some simple conversations like that, then it kind of feels like, what is it all for? Because in the end, the language, speaking another language and understanding another culture is to be able to connect with others around us. We don’t have to do that perfectly, but we can just put ourselves out there. And if we can be understood, again, even if we didn’t say it perfectly, even if we didn’t say everything we wanted to say, then we’ve achieved the goal, right?
We’ve connected with the people. We’ve been understood, and that’s something we couldn’t do before if we didn’t open our mouth and we didn’t try. So I encourage everyone to just keep that in mind because we’ve all, you know, especially us, we’ve been there. We’re there sometimes, you know, on a regular basis, too. I mean, gosh, I’ve been speaking and studying Spanish for like 20-something years. I still make mistakes all the time on a regular basis.
Does anybody ever correct me? No. And if they do, do I care? Also, no. Do I keep trying? Yes. Y también, o sea, claro que gente como tú, como yo, que vivíamos en otro lugar antes, nos equivocamos, decimos algo mal, pero ¿qué creen? La gente de aquí, de México, también se equivoca. No hablan perfectos porque hay gente de muchos estados. Entonces, en un estado se dice así, en otro estado se dice así. O también por temas como de que si alguien pudo estudiar nuestra cultura, lamentablemente sí ha tenido como que mucho, sí se le ha sido difícil salir adelante sin tener que trabajar muy duro.
Entonces, mucha gente que es mexicana 100% a veces no dice las cosas correctamente, pero porque no pudieron aprender a decirlo de la forma correcta y todos nos entendemos. Entonces, creo que eso también es algo de darnos cuenta. No se busca el perfeccionismo ni en el mexicano. Entonces, está bien. That’s true. And another category that we didn’t talk about is there are still some communities where the indigenous language is the predominant language in parts of Mexico, and there are many different indigenous languages.
So for some of these communities, Spanish is their second language, just like it is for us. And they may have a better dominion of it than some of us, right? But it doesn’t mean that they don’t make mistakes. And so just like you said, I mean, there’s different situations that would cause someone to not speak perfectly. But even for native speakers, that can happen. So if it doesn’t deter them, it shouldn’t deter us.
Exacto. Si, si, si. Very good. Well, I think that was really helpful, Jacky. Any other insights or tips for someone who might be struggling to overcome the fear or the lack of confidence or, you know, living in the land of what ifs that might be difficult to start a conversation with someone or to respond if someone speaks to them? I guess I would focus on, you know, just do what you can on your own personal time to kind of get out of that bubble where you’re a little scared so that you feel more confident when that situation actually comes up to you.
And sometimes it’s unexpected. So the more you prepare yourself by like listening to songs in Spanish, by watching maybe a series you already watched in English, watch it in Spanish. And for the most part, they’re going to say like the same thing that was said in English and Spanish. Sometimes it changes. But, you know, use subtitles and everything. And you’ll be able to kind of get a better like understanding of what it sounds like.
Because I think that’s one thing that trips people up a lot is, you know, when somebody starts speaking to you Spanish like right in your face and you don’t have time to slow it down or listen to it again, like you would on a podcast or something. It’s like, what did she just say? Because sometimes it’s hard to tell like, you know, where one word ends and where the other starts. So you’re thinking it’s this big, long, complicated word when it’s not.
It’s three separate words that you already know. So give yourself that time and that space that you need to listen to things on your own so that when it happens in person, you know, you’re not caught off guard too much. And you still will be maybe caught off guard a little bit. But the more you get your ear used to listening to it, the less scary it’s going to feel when you hear somebody speak to you in person in Spanish.
That’s a great, that’s a great piece of advice, Jacky. And I would even say like, if listening at normal speed feels overwhelming, you don’t have to start there. You can start, like Jacky said, with subtitles or watching it English and then watch it in Spanish or listening to a podcast, but like slow it down. Like, or with our conversation sessions, depending on the student’s level, we may slow down our speaking so they can understand us.
And that’s a great bridge to get us to the point where we can eventually speak with people who are speaking at a native speed. I would also add on, um, in addition to listening, speaking yourself is also really helpful. If you have no one to speak with, just speaking aloud to your own self, when you’re by yourself is really helpful because there’s a big difference between reading something on paper and thinking you hear in your brain, how it sounds, and then actually like physically making the sounds with your own voice.
It might sound really silly, but it is a really helpful tool. It’s something that I did a lot when I was first learning Spanish, because just like Jacky said, when we’re hearing the sounds and they blur together, we might get excited or we might get nervous. We might try to speak quickly and we might not come out the way we wanted. And then, oh no, now I’ve like stuttered. And now how do I recover? You know? So like the more we practice anything, the better we get.
So that goes to listening. That goes to speaking, even if it’s just speaking to yourself, um, or if there’s someone that you can practice a little bit with, you know, if you have someone in your community or in your network, like you don’t have to have a full-on conversation. It doesn’t have to be zero or 100. It could be a simple, hola, buenos dias. And then you switch to English or hola, buenos dias. Como estas? And then you switch to English or the next time.
Hola, buenos dias. Como te fue ayer? And then you switch to English. Yeah, like switch it out. Uh-huh. So like you can do intermediate steps. So I think my main takeaway to add on what you shared, Jacky, is just that like, sometimes we make things really big in our head and it feels overwhelming and impossible. I mean, if we break it down into smaller pieces, those pieces might feel possible. And those pieces are actually really important and good to do because eventually they get us to where we want to be.
So just because it feels hard now doesn’t mean you can’t get there. Jacky’s shared some really good advice with us from her real life that she herself has experienced. So hopefully we can all walk away with something new that we’ve learned that we can implement in our studies. Thank you, Jacky. Thank you. Awesome. Well, see you in the next video. Bye guys. Bye.
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